Daring to Grow: How Recognizing Your Fears Can Lead to Faithful Action
This morning, before I left, I didn’t hug my daughter goodbye. It was a fear reaction — her brother came downstairs ready to go, and since he was ready, I didn’t want to risk us being late. I could have run upstairs for five seconds to say goodbye, but I responded in fear. Later, heading to work, I hit a squirrel. It was running in fear, and I instinctively swerved a little — also fear.
All of that got me thinking. The fear response is innate. It just takes over. Fight, flight, or freeze. So how do we prevent it from destroying us? We practice. Every moment, we train our response. Fear or faith. It requires training.
Fear responses show up as hate, rejection, unrighteous anger, selfishness.
Faith responses look like hope, truth, acceptance, enoughness, compassion, lightheartedness, self-control, freedom, wellness, high value, justice.This morning, I was resisting even getting out of bed. Totally resisting. I would have journaled about it if I hadn’t wasted so much time resisting in the first place. And after everything else, I realized: resisting is a fear response too. The way to train out of it is to choose faith over fear. The faith response would be to accept what the day holds, accept the path in front of me, get up, and walk it out. Not run. Not hide. Not try to avoid.
How? Face the fear head on
When your body feels fear, we need to process the fear, reassure your body that you are safe, and soothe your body. Until your fears are handled, you will struggle to focus and take action on what matters to you.
Using this framework won’t change things overnight, but practice it whenever you feel fear or stuck, and you will gradually notice action and clarity replacing the fear.Recognize
Notice the fear. It could be behavior like bingeing (tv, eating, etc), criticizing others, resisting what needs to be done, don’t know what to do, can’t seem to get yourself to do it. Or it could be something in your body, like a tightness or strong feeling (like anger).
Recognize that behavior and feeling, and notice “THIS is what fear looks and feels like.”Interrupt
Stop for one minute. This disrupts the fear response. Stop watching the addicting show for just one minute. Take your hand out of the bag of chips. You can go back - but stop it for one minute. If you are resisting what needs to be done, think about why it needs to be done or the first step or how you could do it. But only do it briefly.
Soothe
This step takes you away from fixing the problem which if you are like me, means you are likely to skip it. But it’s necessary if you want to move forward. Reassure your body that it is safe. That means addressing that racing, agitated feeling in your body, tightness, rushing, stress. Take deep breaths, go for a walk, be mindful, practice meditation, etc. It is so tempting to skip this because you don’t want to go for a walk, you want to fix the issue. But get your body in a calm, relaxed, “I’m able to work and move forward” state first and you will make progress much faster and further. “We’ll move forward when my body isn’t feeling agitated.” Notice how the fear feels versus how your body feels when it is soothed. Then let your body know that you are safe.
What Triggered The Fear?
Consider what you are actually afraid of and how to soothe it. Sometimes we feel fear because we have been doing a lot and the body and brain activate the fear response to get us to slow down. Your job is to soothe the fear and find the next faith step.
Decide How to Move Forward
Faith actions help us make forward movement instead of getting caught in the fear — acceptance, honesty, compassion, stepping forward instead of away. Take a single step, see what comes to mind. Lean into your routine - cling to it, it’s safe.
Take Action
Do what is easy and safe. Rely on routines or rituals - they feel safe to your body and are easy to do when your brain is frozen. Find the smallest step and take it . This can be a change of perspective, a new mindset, repeating what you already know about the situation, or shifting your view. You could lean into acceptance, things that make you feel good. Celebrate micro-shifts, because that reinforces the growth.
Do these steps over and over. You won’t be able to do them perfectly or all in one sitting. Start with the first step and add the second step when you can expand.As my day continues, I’m looking at my list of fear actions and faith actions, noticing what I choose, gently inviting myself to step in faith where I can, and celebrating when I do.