Hello! I'm Erin.
I thought I knew how to make my life better and my plan was clear so I went straight to work: on my relationships, household, business, struggling spiritually/religiously/with truth, and trying to figure out how to manage my life and my responsibilities.
I pared down my responsibilities - wife, mom, work, household as much as possible. I kept it together but I was stressed, overwhelmed, and couldn't seem to describe how I felt or what I needed in a way that others could understand.
Life was a constant chase of getting all the things done or how to do them better. I couldn't seem to figure out how to keep everything running in a way that worked. I wanted a life I could feel good about, not one that just sort of worked out.
I Couldn't Find Help
Beliefs
Most coaches talk about beliefs. But I was more interested in my faith and the beliefs that aligned with it. I failed to see that all beliefs are not about faith (I can believe my soup is hot or it will be cold outside today). I had been afraid that these coaches would try to change my faith beliefs and did not understand general beliefs. It was all faith related to me (which is all or nothing thinking).
Problems
I also kept coming across symptoms - scattered, time blindness, losing things, all or nothing thinking, perfectionism, inattention, difficulty focusing, careless mistakes, forgetfulness, and more but when I read those words, I heard "blah blah blah." The typical description was losing things, being late, and other things I couldn't identify with. I couldn't identify or communicate how I felt or what I needed.
Skill set
I felt the same way about skills - I saw things like focus, prioritize, break down tasks, emotional regulation, clarity, time management, get a planner, and heard "blah blah blah" again. I also felt that I knew most of the things I should be doing and was already doing all or most of them (because this issue consumed me and I poured everything I had into improving my abilities).
I Like My Life Now!
Recently, my husband and I fought. We used to fight all the time but they are much more rare now. But we were both pretty angry with each other and it was late at night, right before bed and I was tired. Previously, that would have wrecked my sleep and my whole heart and soul would have been hurting. This time, I nurtured myself, made sure I *rested* (even if I couldn't sleep) and built up my confidence. The next day, I was feeling SO MUCH better even though nothing had changed between us. We fought, but *I* still felt good. I was able to make myself feel and be okay, regardless of everyone else.
Last week, I had a list close to 20 things long (plus things not on the list) for back to school alone. (I have two kids starting school in two different districts and have to figure out transportation, multiple online systems, plus extracurricular activities, a birthday party, a mini weekend trip, and a number of other things). Even with overwhelm & stress looming in the distance, I'm still good. I can handle it when life gets crazy. And lest you think it's easy for me because I work at home for myself - I don't... I work full time, outside of the house, not for myself. While we are down a person and I am essentially the only person in the office most of the time. But I know what to do and how to manage and FEEL GOOD. Old me could never imagine handling all that and doing it well.
So what changed? Finding and addressing the problem required the same skills I lacked. Tiny steps eventually revealed them to me. Now my mission is to help others understand a lot faster than i did so lives can be changed.