You Already Use The Tools - But They Don't Work
You have a routine. You know how to plan. You use a calendar and/or a planner. You know what matters to you. It isn't perfect but you do your best to make it work. You are always making improvements and changes but still don't have the results you want. You might have some structure, but nothing that makes it just run, without lots of effort on your part.
Making life work is like riding a 2 wheeler vs training wheels. Everyone makes plans and lives their lives using what they know and have - but if you really want to thrive, an easy way is to upgrade your planning and your "making life work" (MLW) skills. When you truly get the hang of it, life becomes so much easier.
These skills can be tricky and seem to escape some of us.
For starters, they are learned during childhood but some people never pick them up. Others unlearn them, forget to use them, or simply fall out of the habit of using them. Being stressed (even if it's just you creating your own stress) can also affect them.
One of these skills is "self awareness." If you aren't self aware, how do you know that? You aren't self aware, so you struggle to recognize it. You buy programs, hoping they will work. You do what you can and still can't get the results you want.
You're constantly looking for and solving problems.
Isn't that how it's supposed to be? You check your environment for what's going to be a problem for you and what's going to annoy someone else (causing an issue for you), and you solve for it. That's part of life. But doing this 24-7 elevates your stress and makes it difficult to make progress.
You let everyone else decide.
When there is a decision to be made, you don't usually have an opinion, unless it's something obvious to you, like if it involves logistics or clear inconvenience. So you see what your spouse wants, what your kids want, or any other factor besides YOUR OPINION. When you get to know yourself better, you will know what you want and how to protect yourself, and you won't be afraid to speak up and make it happen.
Seeing Opportunity
If your nervous system is stressed and you don't clearly know what you want, your body makes it impossible for you to think creatively - you are too busy protecting yourself. Think about it - if you are in a life or death moment, are you thinking about how to grow and expand your hopes and dreams? No, of course not! You are making sure everyone stays alive, nourished, and sheltered. No growth, no creativity, unless it keeps you alive, nourished, or sheltered.
You create your reality.
That can be a tough pill to swallow but we have more control than we realize or see.
Do other people have better outcomes? How do they do it? They make different choices. They set themselves up so they CAN choose better.
How you respond can give you power or turn you into a victim. You can't get yourself to work out every (most) time. You can't get yourself to fill out that form or make that appointment. The grocery store doesn't have the ingredients for the meal you were going to make. Your brain is completely overwhelmed and frozen, the family is arguing and your kids are negotiating every little thing and it is seems like you just can't win.
Figure Out and Organize Your To-Do's
How do you figure out what to work on today if you aren't crystal clear about what you want? And how do you organize all of these things that are important and keep track of them and be able to find them when you need them?
Growth & Adjusting
Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and skills and areas to improve. Strengthening just one of these skills can significantly change your life. for the better.
Once you know what you need to do, how do you get yourself to take action and make changes that keep improving your system? If your system is making leaps and bounds, you probably have the skills. If your system has you still feeling stressed or dissatisfied, in personal wellness, , family happiness, household wellbeing, and career & life growth, then it's time to take action.