It Was A Beautiful Day

Sat, 07 Jun 2025 22:16:47 +0000

At the bike path, people were passing me

left and right, even though it was like 6 in the morning. Most days (when I'm full of energy), I barely see a single soul, but today, when I forced myself to walk crawl, joggers were everywhere. At one single moment, there were two joggers running towards me and another passing me from behind, with plenty more before and after that. Annoying for sure. Later, when I was at one of my daughter's activities, I had a complete emotional breakdown with tears and all. Also the house was messy and I was fighting a migraine. How could that possibly have been beautiful? Well...it's how I treated myself. Today, and the days, weeks, months, and even years leading up to today.

I have supportive friends who hugged me while I cried (even though they are going through far larger difficulties themselves). My mom not only drove an hour and a half to come see us, she brought an amazing lunch and listened to me babble excitedly about health and bettering oneself because, well, that's my current favorite topic. I got to listen to my daughter happily play with her miniverse kitchen, chat with my mom, lay on the couch and close my eyes, and feel the love of other friends who texted me. How did this even get to be my life? Well, it's how I treat myself and how I allow others to treat me. Supporting myself and being kind to myself used to be foreign concepts to me. I just assumed I did them, after all, I wasn't intentionally mean to myself and i knew I was important and special. But I didn't go out of my way to be kind to myself or grateful for my efforts. I actually thought it was a little lame - wow you opened your eyes today, congratulations! I thought it was a bit ridiculous until I started taking small steps towards appreciating my efforts, and recognizing that I didn't HAVE TO get dressed today, get up, give my kids breakfast, empty the dishwasher. I used to view these things as things I did have to do - automatic givens. And when I fell short, I judged myself for it. I changed my view, from a list I needed to do, to an empty list. Every time I did a single task, that task went to the "I did it!" list. Not an actual list but more of a mental tracker - where I recognized each and every thing that I did as a win, not an expectation. I grew happier, stronger, and better able to manage myself and my responsibilities.

That alone was a game changer towards creating a kinder, happier, more supportive lifestyle, because how we treat ourselves is a HUGE indicator of how others treat us. But that support can carry over to every scenario when we are kind or difficult with ourselves. When I delay my evening routine, my family takes that as a cue to bring me their latest and greatest troubles close to 9pm even though I have told them plenty of times that 8 pm is the limit. But when I am starting my routine at 8pm, that is somehow a silent signal to them that I am not to be disturbed.

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Making Your Life Flow - even when it's a struggle

Sat, 07 Jun 2025 22:16:47 +0000

You Already Use The Tools - But They Don't Work

You have a routine. You know how to plan. You use a calendar and/or a planner. You know what matters to you. It isn't perfect but you do your best to make it work. You are always making improvements and changes but still don't have the results you want. You might have some structure, but nothing that makes it just run, without lots of effort on your part.

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Making life work is like riding a 2 wheeler vs training wheels. Everyone makes plans and lives their lives using what they know and have - but if you really want to thrive, an easy way is to upgrade your planning and your "making life work" (MLW) skills. When you truly get the hang of it, life becomes so much easier.

These skills can be tricky and seem to escape some of us.

For starters, they are learned during childhood but some people never pick them up. Others unlearn them, forget to use them, or simply fall out of the habit of using them. Being stressed (even if it's just you creating your own stress) can also affect them.

One of these skills is "self awareness." If you aren't self aware, how do you know that? You aren't self aware, so you struggle to recognize it. You buy programs, hoping they will work. You do what you can and still can't get the results you want.

You're constantly looking for and solving problems.

Isn't that how it's supposed to be? You check your environment for what's going to be a problem for you and what's going to annoy someone else (causing an issue for you), and you solve for it. That's part of life. But doing this 24-7 elevates your stress and makes it difficult to make progress.

You let everyone else decide.

When there is a decision to be made, you don't usually have an opinion, unless it's something obvious to you, like if it involves logistics or clear inconvenience. So you see what your spouse wants, what your kids want, or any other factor besides YOUR OPINION. When you get to know yourself better, you will know what you want and how to protect yourself, and you won't be afraid to speak up and make it happen.

Seeing Opportunity

If your nervous system is stressed and you don't clearly know what you want, your body makes it impossible for you to think creatively - you are too busy protecting yourself. Think about it - if you are in a life or death moment, are you thinking about how to grow and expand your hopes and dreams? No, of course not! You are making sure everyone stays alive, nourished, and sheltered. No growth, no creativity, unless it keeps you alive, nourished, or sheltered.

You create your reality.

That can be a tough pill to swallow but we have more control than we realize or see.

Do other people have better outcomes? How do they do it? They make different choices. They set themselves up so they CAN choose better.

How you respond can give you power or turn you into a victim. You can't get yourself to work out every (most) time. You can't get yourself to fill out that form or make that appointment. The grocery store doesn't have the ingredients for the meal you were going to make. Your brain is completely overwhelmed and frozen, the family is arguing and your kids are negotiating every little thing and it is seems like you just can't win.

What then? You make the best of it. You take who you are and what you have (your attitude and resources) and you make life happen. Are your solutions as good as you want them to be or do you wish you could make them better but don't know how?

Figure Out and Organize Your To-Do's

How do you figure out what to work on today if you aren't crystal clear about what you want? And how do you organize all of these things that are important and keep track of them and be able to find them when you need them?

Growth & Adjusting

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and skills and areas to improve. Strengthening just one of these skills can significantly change your life. for the better.

Once you know what you need to do, how do you get yourself to take action and make changes that keep improving your system? If your system is making leaps and bounds, you probably have the skills. If your system has you still feeling stressed or dissatisfied, in personal wellness, , family happiness, household wellbeing, and career & life growth, then it's time to take action.

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Motivational Village - Making Life Easier #ugh