This morning, I was resisting even getting out of bed. Totally resisting. I would have journaled about it if I hadn’t wasted so much time resisting in the first place. And after everything else, I realized: resisting is a fear response too. The way to train out of it is to choose faith over fear. The faith response would be to accept what the day holds, accept the path in front of me, get up, and walk it out. Not run. Not hide. Not try to avoid.

Stop for one minute. This disrupts the fear response. Stop watching the addicting show for just one minute. Take your hand out of the bag of chips. You can go back - but stop it for one minute. If you are resisting what needs to be done, think about why it needs to be done or the first step or how you could do it. But only do it briefly.

This step takes you away from fixing the problem which if you are like me, means you are likely to skip it. But it’s necessary if you want to move forward. Reassure your body that it is safe. That means addressing that racing, agitated feeling in your body, tightness, rushing, stress. Take deep breaths, go for a walk, be mindful, practice meditation, etc. It is so tempting to skip this because you don’t want to go for a walk, you want to fix the issue. But get your body in a calm, relaxed, “I’m able to work and move forward” state first and you will make progress much faster and further. “We’ll move forward when my body isn’t feeling agitated.” Notice how the fear feels versus how your body feels when it is soothed. Then let your body know that you are safe. 

Consider what you are actually afraid of and how to soothe it. Sometimes we feel fear because we have been doing a lot and the body and brain activate the fear response to get us to slow down. Your job is to soothe the fear and find the next faith step.

Faith actions help us make forward movement instead of getting caught in the fear — acceptance, honesty, compassion, stepping forward instead of away. Take a single step, see what comes to mind. Lean into your routine - cling to it, it’s safe.

 As my day continues, I’m looking at my list of fear actions and faith actions, noticing what I choose, gently inviting myself to step in faith where I can, and celebrating when I do.

Making life work is like riding a 2 wheeler vs training wheels. Everyone makes plans and lives their lives using what they know and have - but if you really want to thrive, an easy way is to upgrade your planning and your "making life work" (MLW) skills. When you truly get the hang of it, life becomes so much easier. 

For starters, they are learned during childhood but some people never pick them up. Others unlearn them, forget to use them, or simply fall out of the habit of using them. Being stressed (even if it's just you creating your own stress) can also affect them.

One of these skills is "self awareness." If you aren't self aware, how do you know that? You aren't self aware, so you struggle to recognize it. You buy programs, hoping they will work. You do what you can and still can't get the results you want.

Isn't that how it's supposed to be? You check your environment for what's going to be a problem for you and what's going to annoy someone else (causing an issue for you), and you solve for it. That's part of life. But doing this 24-7 elevates your stress and makes it difficult to make progress.

When there is a decision to be made, you don't usually have an opinion, unless it's something obvious to you, like if it involves logistics or clear inconvenience. So you see what your spouse wants, what your kids want, or any other factor besides YOUR OPINION. When you get to know yourself better, you will know what you want and how to protect yourself, and you won't be afraid to speak up and make it happen.

If your nervous system is stressed and you don't clearly know what you want, your body makes it impossible for you to think creatively - you are too busy protecting yourself. Think about it - if you are in a life or death moment, are you thinking about how to grow and expand your hopes and dreams? No, of course not! You are making sure everyone stays alive, nourished, and sheltered. No growth, no creativity, unless it keeps you alive, nourished, or sheltered.

How do you figure out what to work on today if you aren't crystal clear about what you want? And how do you organize all of these things that are important and keep track of them and be able to find them when you need them?